10 Signs Someone Is Extremely Jealous Of You

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Jealousy can be a challenging emotion to navigate. Whether you’re dealing with a jealous friend or an envious coworker, these powerful emotions can bubble under the surface, creating conflicts, hurting relationships, and impacting your long-term success. If you’ve ever dealt with a jealous person, you already know how much trouble they can create. But here’s the problem. Jealousy isn’t always easy to understand or resolve.

Some extreme emotions, like anger, can be addressed directly with a simple and vulnerable conversation. More often than not, jealousy is more complicated and delicate, stepping from deep-rooted emotions and insecurities. For starters, no one wants to be a jealous person. Many jealous people experience significant feelings of shame and frustration, which they don’t want other people to know about.

Often, these people will deny feeling any kind of jealousy. If asked directly, they may turn the tables on you, claiming you are the one who is envious or insecure. In other words, it’s very tricky confronting people about their jealous behavior. But why do people become envious or jealous in the first place? There are many reasons why someone might become jealous of you. Maybe they envy your success, wishing they accomplished as much as you have.

Maybe they’re drawn to your personality, seeing traits in you that they desire for themselves. They could also be jealous of your looks, your connections, or any number of qualities you possess that they do not. In this situation, a healthier person might reflect on these desires and improve upon themselves. But a jealous person takes their deep-rooted insecurities out on others.

Their jealousy manifests as extreme negative emotions, like hatred and spite. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong, someone might try to ruin your life because you remind them of what they dislike about themselves. This is why it’s dangerous to spend your time with extremely jealous people. Their secret desires may cloud their better judgment, causing them to lash out at the people around them, like you. To help you identify and avoid the jealous people in your life, let’s dive right into 10 signs someone is jealous of you.

1. Poisoning Your Dreams 

signs someone is extremely jealous of you

Jealous people want you to second-guess yourself. They want to fill your mind with insecurities and self-doubt. Why? Because the more you doubt yourself, the less likely you are to achieve your ambitions. To ensure you stay unsatisfied, jealous people belittle your goals and poison your dreams. If you share your vision of the future, they may convince you that it isn’t worth chasing.

They’ll make you feel hopeless, calling your dreams unrealistic or unachievable. If you know someone who poisons your dreams, they may have a secret agenda. On the surface, they claim to have your best interests in mind. But the real reason they’re discouraging your success is because they’re jealous of you.

2. Hidden Hostility

signs someone is extremely jealous of you

Many jealous people mask their feelings with surface-level niceties. In other words, they act like your friend. They give you compliments and tell you how much they value your friendship. But as soon as you leave the room, their demeanor changes. Instead of defending you, they become hostile toward you, embracing every opportunity to tear you down.

You might catch them spreading gossip about you or laughing at your mistakes. If you achieve something, they might discredit your success and steal the spotlight for themselves. Real friends like you, whether or not you’re in the room. Anyone who becomes hostile in your absence isn’t as friendly as you think. 

3. Deliberate Sabotage

signs someone is extremely jealous of you

When someone is jealous of you, they capitalize on opportunities to sabotage your success. Let’s say you ask a friend for advice. This person is secretly jealous of you, instead of thinking about your problem and giving good advice, they steer you in the wrong direction. For example, they might tell you to slow down or slack off.

They might discourage you from taking a great opportunity. They might even tell you to give up or stop trying. Most of the time, this is not the advice we want or need to hear. People should encourage, motivate, and empower each other, helping us find the courage to achieve great things. Anyone who purposely gives you lousy advice may sabotage your life.

4. The Humiliation Game 

10 signs someone is extremely envious or jealous of you

Jealous people go out of their way to make you look back. They want to sully your reputation. They find ways to embarrass or humiliate you in front of other people. They might make jokes about your insecurities or force you into uncomfortable situations. Maybe they repeatedly tell stories about your mistakes, ensuring everyone knows the moment you do something wrong. 

For example, let’s think you’re fetching coffee for you and your friends. With your arms full of hot coffee, you accidentally trip and spill coffee on your clothes. A good friend might laugh alongside you and ask if you’re alright. But a jealous friend sees this as a chance to humiliate you. To them, every embarrassing story is a gold mine because they take pleasure in your failures. 

5. Obsessive Fixation

10 signs someone is extremely envious or jealous of you

If someone is jealous, you may notice them staring an awful lot in your direction. They seem to fixate on your every move. They pay close attention to what you’re wearing. They remember who you’re talking to, even if they weren’t a part of the conversation.

In other words, this person seems strangely in tune with your habits and behaviors. Why? Because they are extremely envious of you, perhaps to the point of obsession. They desperately want to outperform you, steal attention away from you, and identify your weaknesses.

They fixate on your every move, following you like a shadow, because they associate you with everything they dislike about themselves. This kind of obsession is a telltale sign of extreme jealousy and can be very uncomfortable, especially if someone starts crossing your boundaries. They might excuse or justify their behavior, but the truth is they are intensely jealous of you. 

6. The Mediocrity Effect

10 signs someone is extremely envious or jealous of you

Most people, when they’re proud of something, don’t need to brag or exaggerate. Their accomplishments speak for themselves. Jealous people, on the other hand, consistently blow their achievements out of proportion. They boast about every tiny thing they accomplish. For example, they might brag about buying a new shirt or washing dishes, little things that most people don’t need to know. 

Why? Because they feel insecure around you. This person knows how much you’ve achieved and, deep down, feels like they don’t measure up. What do they do? They puff out their chest and flaunt their achievements. They brag, even if they have nothing to brag about because they are more jealous than you realize.

7. Digging for Dirt 

signs someone is jealous of you

Do you know someone who often asks uncomfortable questions? This is a dead giveaway that someone is jealous of you. When people harbor extreme feelings of jealousy, they often try to dig into your personal world. In other words, they want to know your secrets, mistakes, and embarrassing stories.

They fish for juicy details, usually by asking uncomfortable questions and pushing you more than you’d like. They might say they’re interested in you, but most jealous people have a secret agenda. See, every secret they learn is an opportunity to bring you down. They want to learn from your mistakes and embarrassing stories, that they can damage your reputation and bolster their own.

Be cautious of anyone who is digging for dirt about you. A friendly and considerate person asks questions with no agenda or ill intentions. They’re genuinely interested in you, your strengths, and your achievements. But a jealous person doesn’t care about who you are or what you’re proud of. They only want to bring you down. 

8. Toxic Double Standards

signs someone is jealous of you

You may notice a strange double standard with jealous people. When you do something wrong, they act like you’ve thrown your life away. They exaggerate your failures and talk about them constantly as if every tiny mistake is a world-ending disaster. Often, they make you feel ashamed, piling on guilt and humiliation. But what happens when they fail similarly?

When talking about their own failures, jealous people are quick to make excuses. They don’t take responsibility for things they’ve done wrong and may even blame their mistakes on you. Consciously or unconsciously, jealous people overvalue your mistakes and undervalue their own. Why? Because they’re trying to even the playing field. Below the surface, they feel small compared to you. They exaggerate your flaws and ignore their own, thus making them feel superior.

9. Reaction Baiting 

how do i know if someone is jealous of you

Jealous people want to see you sweat. They take pleasure in stressing you out and pushing your buttons. You might hear them say things just to get a reaction out of you. They might target your insecurities and weaknesses, pressing and pressing in the hopes you will lose your cool. If you react, it gives them power over you. 

It puts them in the driver’s seat, giving them control over your emotional state. This is precisely what a jealous person wants. Don’t take the bait. If someone is pushing your buttons, let their comments roll off your back. Stay calm, and it’s guaranteed to drive them crazy.

10. Stealing Your Thunder 

how do i know if someone is jealous of you

When something good happens, we share it with the people we love. We want them to celebrate our successes alongside us, but jealous people can’t be happy about your achievements. Deep down, they don’t want you to succeed and definitely don’t want others to celebrate your success.  They go out of their way to steal your thunder.

When you share good news, they belittle your achievements and steal the spotlight for themselves. For example, when you share the good news, they might immediately share the big news of their own, directing attention away from you and toward themselves. If you know someone who consistently steals your thunder, they may be more jealous than you think.

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