10 Signs Someone Secretly Dislikes You 2024

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Do you worry too much about what people think of you? Some people can go through life tuning out the opinions of others and living by their own code, but most of us can’t escape the burden of other people’s opinions. We want people to like us. We want to be respected, loved, and appreciated. Often people are criticized for caring what others think of them. We frame this quality as a flaw as if caring what people think of you makes you an insecure or self-conscious person.

While anything is harmful at extremes, caring what people think of you isn’t always a bad thing. There’s a big difference between considering others’ opinions and changing your behavior to satisfy them. The former is natural and often healthy. Considering others’ opinions allows you to be conscientious and mindful of their preferences. It also helps you connect with people, show gratitude, and engage with the world.

Just because you care whether people like you doesn’t mean you should change your behavior to suit their needs or earn respect. Eventually, you will come across someone who doesn’t like you. They may not say it out loud. They may never tell you to your face. But deep down, something about you rubs them the wrong way. Should you change your appearance, behavior, or personality to make them like you better?

Of course not, but that doesn’t mean you should disregard them entirely. Their secret feelings about you influence how you interact and how much effort you invest into your friendship.  Paying attention to what someone thinks of you, even if they don’t like you, helps you stay aware, alert, and adaptable. That way, you know whom you can rely on and whom you can’t. Here’s the problem.

People aren’t always obvious about their feelings. Some people seem cold and distant despite caring deeply about you. Others are loving and vocal while secretly feeling jealousy or resentment. How do you know what people really think of you? What signs and how to know if a person dislikes you? You don’t need to change your behavior for anyone, but by using the following 10 signs, you can uncover the truth about the people in your life.

1. Embarrassing You on Purpose 

signs someone secretly dislikes you

A good friend is conscientious of your limits and vulnerabilities, especially when you’re going through a rough time in your life. For example, if you’re struggling with a personal problem, they may for go a night out to keep you company and help you through this challenging situation. On the other hand, if someone doesn’t like you, they may create opportunities to embarrass you. 

Let’s say you recently lost your job and are looking for a new one. Right now, you are short on money. Your friend knows that times are tough for you, yet they propose expensive dinners, outings, and luxurious trips. When you inevitably say no, they make you feel bad for letting them down. But a real friend would never put you in this embarrassing situation. 

2. The Superiority Complex

signs someone secretly dislikes you

Friends should be honest with each other and support each other in times of need. But if your friend secretly dislikes you, you may feel like they’re disappointed no matter what you say or do. Even when things are going well in your life, they make you feel like your achievements are not good enough. Instead of celebrating your successes, this person belittles your version of success.

In other words, they don’t seem proud to be your friend. They frequently judge your choices and may act as if they know better than you. They may even lecture you about your failures. If this sounds familiar, you and your friend may not be as close as you think. Chances are they’re no longer able to understand you, or perhaps they’re not even trying. In either case, anyone who makes you feel inferior probably doesn’t see you as their equal. 

3. Sudden Awkwardness

signs someone secretly dislikes you

Are your conversations awkward or uncomfortable? Do you often notice awkward pauses or long stretches of silence? Around someone you like and care about, nothing feels awkward. Even when you have nothing to say, there’s an unspoken trust and comfort between you that keeps the awkwardness at bay. But when your friendship starts to crumble, that awkwardness and tension may reappear.

You may feel nervous about what to say or self-conscious about your behavior. You may have to cater to this person to keep the conversation going. Unfortunately, this discomfort can be a sign of more significant problems. If things have gotten awkward, the trust and security between you may no longer exist. This person may not want to say it out loud, but they may not think of you as a friend anymore. 

4. Closed Body Signals

10 signs someone secretly dislikes you

Body language often reveals how people really feel about each other. When someone likes you, their body language may be open and friendly. They’ll comfortably stand close to you and use their posture to convey interest and engagement with the conversation. If someone dislikes you, their body language will send a very different message. 

Instead of openness and friendliness, they may seem closed off and uncomfortable. They might cross their arms or create physical distance between you. They might avoid eye contact or spend the whole conversation staring at the door. These are all examples of closed body language. If you notice these signs in someone you know, they may be as friendly as you think.

5. Two-Faced Personalities

10 signs someone secretly dislikes you

Do you know someone who says nice things to your face and then talks about you behind your back? This is a telltale sign that someone secretly hates you. Face to face, they pretend to be your friend, but as soon as you turn your back, they become your number one critic. These two-faced people may seem like your friends, but deep down, they may want to bring you down.

6. Belittling Your Strengths 

how to know if a person dislikes you

Friends are supposed to see the good in each other. We bring out each other’s strengths and compensate for each other’s weaknesses, but the opposite is true when someone secretly dislikes you. Instead of celebrating your strengths, they focus all their energy on your flaws. They play up your weaknesses and ensure you never forget your mistakes. This kind of behavior can take its toll on your self-esteem.

If you take what they say too seriously, you might lose faith in your abilities. It’s easy to become critical of yourself when someone you care about attacks your flaws. But this person may not be the friend you think they are. Anyone who concentrates on your weaknesses and belittles your strengths doesn’t have your best interests in mind.

7. Backhanded Compliments 

how to know if a person dislikes you

A compliment from a friend can make your day. A backhanded compliment, on the other hand, leaves you feeling conflicted and unsure of yourself. When someone secretly dislikes you, they may subtly bring you down with insults disguised as compliments. 

For example, they might say, “Wow, you played surprisingly well.” Even though this sounds like a compliment, they’re implying that everyone expected you to fail or perform poorly. Backhanded compliments like these are one of many ways bad friends bring down your self-esteem. In other words, this person dislikes you, even if they won’t tell you directly. 

8. Constant Irritation

how do you know if someone hates you secretly

Is your friend constantly in a bad mood? Do they never smile around you anymore? When someone secretly dislikes you, they may become irritated at everything you do. It doesn’t matter how good your intentions are or how hard you try to be their friend.

They secretly resent you, and their resentment colors every one of your interactions. If this person were really your friend, they’d enjoy spending time together. You’d make each other laugh and smile, bringing happiness and comfort into each other’s lives. On the other hand, if you know someone who’s constantly unhappy, there may be something they’re not telling you.

9. Deviations in Personality 

how do you know if someone hates you secretly

Around other people, your friend is the life of the party. They’re extroverted and confident. They’re always smiling and joking around. But around you, their behavior changes. They become quiet and nervous. They talk less and frown more. Even their body language changes. Why? Because something about you rubs them the wrong way. Anyone whose personality changes around you is likely hiding their true feelings.

10. Losing Their Trust 

how do you know if someone hates you secretly

When someone dislikes you, they may raise a wall around their emotions. Anytime you try to get personal, they push you away and close themselves off. In the past, you might have exchanged secrets and expressed your true feelings, but nowadays, you hardly know what they’re thinking. You may be worried that you’ve done something to break their trust, trying extra hard to rebuild your friendship and make them feel safe around you. Unfortunately, this person may be holding a grudge against you. No matter how hard you try, if someone secretly hates you, your friendship may never recover.

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